A Wayward Child

What I learned when I stopped Counseling the Lord

Thank you to this anonymous submitter - for sharing this testimony about faith, prayer and submitting to our Heavenly Father

I learned a very valuable lesson about faith and about relating the scriptures to myself.  While my wife and I were silently suffering over a son who left home in high school and embarked on a very destructive path, I was in a position where I was counseling several parents in similar situations, although perhaps not as acute as ours.  Being a father married to the most over-protective mother in the church, I am aware that parents panic when they see attitudes and patterns in their children that could lead to negative consequences. 

Our fear was beyond that as it had come to a life and death struggle in our son’s life as he continued in his destructive lifestyle.  In an attempt to separate the fears I had regarding my own child from the anguish I was dealing with in others, I studied and prayed very earnestly for answers. 

The answer came as I realized we had been counseling the Lord in prayer on how we felt our son should be dealt with.  We were sincere enough and felt that, as he was our son it was our duty to tell the Lord what we thought would be the best for him.  If you analyze this approach you realize it requires no faith to ask the Lord to, “…please have him move back home” or “help him to realize how destructive his friends and behaviors are” and other bits of advice to the Lord.  It came as a quiet revelation as I read about another father who was suffering with the same problem, a rebellious son. 

My favorite example of patient, faithful parent hood is Alma.  His son, Alma (the younger) was on a carefully constructed, energetically implemented self-destruct course.  His father, Alma, however did not counsel the Lord on how he thought it should be handled.  He merely prayed that his son, “…would be brought to the knowledge of the truth…” (Mosiah 27:14).  I admire Alma’s faith to leave the practical application up to the Lord.  Further, when Alma received the lifeless body of his son and the news that his son had been smitten and was paralyzed, his first reaction was not to plead for aid for his son, but to gather a huge group of witnesses to see the mercy of God in his son’s behalf.  Following that, he and his household fasted for two days for Alma’s body to regain its strength so he could bear witness of the power of God.  That’s faith!

Can you imagine praying for experiences to be sent to your wayward child so they can learn from them?  Then, when you get the call from the hospital saying they had been in a terrible accident, you have the faith to first hit your knees and thank Father for this great learning experience in your love one’s life. 

We learned that we had to have the faith to say, “Father, give our son experiences that will cause him to evaluate his actions.”  Then we had to sit and watch our son suffer the consequences of his actions to the point that he was soon facing a decision to abandon his lifestyle or give his life for it.  He chose well and is slowly returning to the pathway to eternal success.  This was a kid who had regular Family Home Evening, daily family scripture study, daily family prayer, three and a half years of seminary and whose parents have both served at every level in the ward.  He knew we were praying for him daily.  Since he bottomed out and started the long arduous journey back we have told him of our change of attitude and prayers in his behalf.  He knows he is alive today because of divine intervention.  Although he is not fully active in the church yet, he feels more comfortable being around the saints again.  We have big hopes for him yet. 

So, ask yourself this:

1)Am I ready to completely turn this problem over to the Lord?

2)Am I ready to accept what He thinks is best for my loved one?

3)Am I strong enough to let my loved one suffer, without coming to their aid and robbing them of necessary experiences and consequences?

4)Am I ready to thank Father for the experiences he sends in their behalf?

My testimony is that it works!  Alma proved it, we have proved it and many faithful others prove it daily.  It is difficult because as parents we tend to feel we are giving up some parental control by not outlining and assigning what we think is best for our loved ones.  In fact, for this to work we do need to give up some controls and advice, but remember who we are surrendering to.  Good luck, we are praying for you!